cool

Today I posted an article I found on tumblr about a man who had chosen to forsake the necessity he felt to be and act "cool". It was quite a good article basically outlining how his 39 years on the earth had mostly been dominated by life choices based on what was "in" and on what everyone else thought. He decided to change gradually away from this as he was getting too old to pretend he was still a twenty-something hipster in uncomfortable clothes and uninspiring places. Fair enough. It's probably the sort of revelation people make often as they get older only their concious isn't quite aware of it being so overt.

However, I'm not quite so convinced. You are meant to read the article and consider the man to be striving to reclaim his own identity and you are meant to be proud of him for doing so. I didn't feel so. I'd done more to find myself by the age of 15 than he had by the time he was 39 and no-one cared. I have a big problem with the idea of popularity and being cool or trendy, and I think people who spend their lives attempting to be so (regardless of to what extent they succeed) shouldn't be pitied for having to do so, they should be pitied for the lack of free thought they exhibit.

The world is an oppressive place. Social structures and heirarchies attempt to shape behaviour in so many ways and everyone acting within society plays a part in reinforcing these ideas. Some people do this more willingly or are more aware of doing it than other blissfully ignorant people are. Here is an example. Stuart came home and told me that at work one of his colleagues criticised him for being too eloquent, only said colleague didn't say "too eloquent", he said something along the lines of "using big words to try and sound smart". At first glance this interaction may seem run of the mill, but it is really extensive layers of "whats cool" social culture reacting to the slightest divergence from the norm. Stuart's coworker disliked Stuart's use of his admirable vocabulary as it was different. Either it made Stuart look better than him, or he thought it made Stuart look negative and to be putting on a show. His response encouraged Stuart to come home and mention this in passing to me. Undoubtably this wont cause stuart to change his behaviour (as he is lucky to be someone comfortable enough in being his own person for it not to) but it was still impacting on him. The coworker has clearly been impacted on by cultures which have emphasised to him that a large vocabulary isn't a good thing, or that it is a threat. Stuart may seem cleverer than him, Stuart may seem to be "uncool" because of it. Someone else may have reacted to Stuart and this has effected said coworker. Either way, the culture the coworker has been involved in has clashed with Stuart's way of speaking, and made him no longer blend into the background.

This isn't specifically a critique of either person's views here, it is merely to highlight that people act in ways they do not explicitly understand to correlate with their own views or opinions. Namely: Peer Pressure.

Peer pressure, a topic first given this title to me in P.S.E. classes at high school, has been one of those ideas which irritates me due to the connotations which are always negative. Peer pressure is feeling obliged to act, and indeed even think, in a certain way due to the overwhelming opinion of those around you. For me at high school this was as follows. You had to look a certain way. You wore tightly fitted black trousers, tightly fitted white or blue shirts, preferrably with a "ben sherman" logo on the pocket but no other, and nike trainers. You wore makeup and styled your hair each day. You spoke in certain ways, using slang where appropriate. You didn't run or play games, you weren't interested in sports, you would walk in groups with girls, sometimes linking arms and you would "hang out" in certain areas where you were meant to in a group. You would have lunch in the town at the chip shop or deli, you would not have lunch in the canteen. You would however use the canteen for a snack between classes. You would not be clever, you would not try to answer questions in class, you would avoid getting top marks in classes and would attempt to blend in by getting average marks. You would not talk to teachers, you would do token "bad" things, you would talk about hating school, hating teachers. You would pretend it was cool to drink or smoke or have had sex regardless of your age or aversion to such activites. You would pretend to know rude slang terms and use them as much as possible so to divert attention from the fact you didnt know them. You would like the music played on clyde one, you would have to dance like a slag and at least dance, you would DIE if you couldnt go to the school disco even though you hated it, you would wear the clothes the cool kids wore, you would go the places the cool kids go, you would like the boys the cool kids liked, you would shun the friends you had a year ago because lo and behold they were now losers and you were to avoid them like the plague or be shuned by association. You were to try and look like everyone else so you couldnt be picked out the crowd. You were to try and talk like everyone else so there wasn't a stray voice. You were to try and do the same activities, imitate the rest so there wasn't a lone figure moving slightly off beat. You had to press the off button on your imagination. You had to hide your face when you weren't doing something worthy. You had to batter your brains in to sink to thier level. You had to damage your emotional well being to stay faceless. You had to spend each and every day constantly with people, trying not to do anything at all remarkable so you didn't step off the kirb and fall into the limelight for all the wrong reasons. You had to try and do all this without wanting to just go home, go to bed and just never wake up again.

School is an incredibly oppressive envrionment for anyone with an individuality. For the people who thought school was ok they probably havn't got the blinkers off yet. Either they are in denial about their whole lives or they haven't got the brain power to realise how they have been moulded to be just like everyone else. And indeed in essence that is it. Fitting in; there is no such thing. Fitting in is infact the stripping back of yourself. It is a bonfire of your identity and background. Fitting in is burning the germs off of a metal instrument with which to perform surgery. It is a purge and it is repressive.

Not long after I went to high school I began to realise the intense brainwashing that was indeed taking place curtosey of the inherent social structure and the hundreds of faceless idiots promoting it without second thought. Unluckily for me no-one else seemed to notice such dogma and this made my life rather hellish; though I bet no-one would have noticed while I was there. I am glad though. As much as school was the worst time of my life, I am glad it wasn't a walk in the park. I get to be someone who isn't a faceless moron like the majority.

I look at everyone I see as I go about my day most days and they all are the same. In town all the girls wear skinny jeans because they have been told to from so, so many angles. OMG this loser is wearing an aviator jacket in a magazine or on a picture in the front of topshop; now its a MUST HAVE. I can't belive these people don't realise themselves how they are being manipulated. And the other side is just as bad, oh yea I wear "uncool" clothes. It's cool to wear trousers too short for you becuase its "uncool". You are just as idiotic. Don't get me wrong I am not anti-fashion and I am not immune from the lure of advertising, but what happened to looking at something and going with your gut. Ask, do I find this item to be aesthetically appealling? is it a nice colour? does it have a great design? do i just like it because I've seen it a lot? or someone "cool" has it? or do i like it because the "I" on the inside of me wants it?

Why can't I turn around and say: hey guys, I hate the band nirvana. I just do not like the sound.

Why can't I turn around and say: I like to be clever, in fact, I have based all my acheivements on this and I got 84% for my dissertation. I am better than every single other student I competed with and thats ok.

Why can't I turn around and say: Actually drinking makes me vomit, so i dont drink and why would i want to go out clubbing where the bad music is too loud, people spill drinks on you and old men leer?

Why can't I turn around and say: I like GARDENING. I like to grow things for no other reason than to watch it happen. I like to BAKE. I am basically your gran. No I don't like whiskey it tastes like arse and I do like sherry; i have a sweet tooth.

Why can't I just do all these things and not have everyone make a big deal about how odd it all is? Why can't people just accept that just because one person doesn't like the thing everyone else seems to like it doesn't make them a freak.

I've been who I am all my life. With the exception of a few years after primary school where you weren't allowed to be a child any more, and before I just gave up trying and did what the hell I liked around the age of 15 I have been myself. I pity those oppressed people out there going out every single day and putting on an act. It is insane that the man who wrote that article took THIRTY NINE YEARS to realise he didn't like the things he pretended to like. I have no sympathy because he had no guts. Do something different, be yourself, what is actually the worst that could happen?

So whenever anyone talks about popularity, or trends, or being cool it makes me so angry. There are so many people out there creating a fake image of themself be it fashion victims out in town, faux "tortured artists" at the school of art, or band/tv show worshipping people on the internet, uploading select pictures of themselves so they come across in a certain way. Stop doing these things and stop ridiculing the people who dont because as long as you do that, any time you look at the "what was she thinking?" page in heat magazine and laugh you are reinforcing the whole system and then you have no right to complain.

I refuse to let this finish on a cliche, but if you get my drift you will be able to insert the most applicable here: .