Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Moving On

I've been working as an administrative assistant in an office at University for the past few months. It's a temporary position and finishes a week today. The girl who is going to be filling the vacancy permanently started today and shadowed me. It's really odd how much I'm going to miss it and more unusual still how I will miss them when I don't even really know why. I suppose it reveals a lot about me when I note that it's probably the camaraderie of being part of the team. And it is a team not just one forced upon people by situation. I've never worked anywhere where politics has featured less than there. Granted I've not worked in many offices before but I am led to believe it is a common scenario. I'm never part of a team. I'm the lone wolf. If you want something done right you smother yourself in all consuming loneliness and get it done better than you could even have imagined. It's incredibly hard to be included in much if you are willing to uphold honesty and good morals, especially if it involves a lot of social interaction. That's why I find it hard to be part of a group of friends. It always boils down to misunderstandings, lies and people getting hurt. It always results in winners and losers and the winners write the history. Staying away from that means I can write my own history, but it is altogether less action packed. The thing is, being part of a team in a professional capacity allows one to form friendships which are never taken too far, and in-jokes that never cut close to the bone, relationships you know won't falter, and trust which impinges on regulation. It's a sad state of affairs but for me friendship is 1% compatibility and 99% reliability, and that's why it never works out. So I'm going to miss seeing people at the times specified in an outlook calendar and I'm going to miss people noticing when I do something helpful or nice for them. Despite the clinical nature of my analysis I will miss these people because when it comes down to it they are decent and I enjoy their company. They are the kind of people who home bake a cake for your birthday and all of a sudden I don't really know why I would choose to give that up. In light of recent events I can't help but feel like moving on is stepping onto a ledge and it's a long way down if I fall after climbing this far.

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